Thus far we have plain positive commands and Bible teaching, and therefore may speak with authority. But if we turn to the Word for directions what to say to those who have more than one living companion, we find no clear command given as to what they shall do. If, therefore, we stop where the Word stops, no person on earth is authorized to positively say all must separate, nor yet can we give them license to live together. Here then we must leave each case in God’s hands. Secret things belong to him. And where he has laid down no positive command for us to enjoin, he must have reserved the prerogative to himself, to convict each individual by his Spirit of their duty. Let it be understood then that we disclaim all authority to say to men and women in such case you must, or you must not separate. Such must get their orders from God direct. And we may safely say that no person in such marriage can keep salvation and victory while living in doubt and uncertainty of the will of God in their case, much less if living in conscious rebellion. The holy life is only maintained in the knowledge and the performance of God’s will. And especially in a case of this kind will Satan buffet your souls and destroy your confidence without it is positively settled that you are living in the present will of God. Therefore let all who have gotten into this unfortunate entanglement, open your hearts and conscience before God, put your whole will subject to his will, and cease not to call upon God until his Spirit assures you of his will in your particular case. Duty lies in one direction or the other, and “they shall all be taught of God,” led of his Spirit. Be sure and keep self out of the question, absolutely have no will or choice of your own. Let every earthly consideration be utterly discarded. Be ready to do that which, to your best judgment, would be most to the glory of God, and that which your conscience would most approve of in the day of judgment.
In the absence of a positive command to separate, or to live together under these circumstances, it is manifestly wrong to severely judge in the matter. The parties must clear their own conscience before God, and while they show the fruits of the Spirit of God, they are entitled to our love and confidence. But does not the perfect law of the Lord give us some general principle, or some ruling on similar cases from which we can infer the mind of God in this matter? Let us see. We know that where men have done contrary to the word of God ignorantly, after learning the fact, they are required to undo, and make right in all cases where it is possible to do so, when they come to a knowledge of the truth. But can men and women entirely undo the act of marriage? Can they castoff that bond of natural conjugal affection that has united their hearts? We think not, except it be by some unkind, and unjust conduct by which that love might be killed. And surely God would not require that. Again, if they have brought forth offspring, their union is still more irrevocable. We know that the practice of any sin cannot find pardon without its discontinuance. But knowing that God locates sin in the motives of the heart and will, it is very doubtful that God holds a person as living in actual adultery when married to a second living companion, if that relation was entered into in all good conscience, sincerely supposing he or she had a perfect right to do so.
Again, there is a difference between going into a thing knowing it to be forbidden in the Word, and being now in the same: the step having been taken while in sin and ignorance. This distinction is seen in the word of God treating on the marriage relation.
We have seen that believers are forbidden to marry unbelievers. But if a man or woman gets salvation and having an unsaved companion must they separate? No. But, “If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath a husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. 1 Cor. 7:12, 13.
For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.” 1 Cor. 7:14.
Here we see clearly that a marriage state which the word of God forbids the Christian to enter, now, being already bound in the same, he does not demand separation, but even forbids them to part from each other. And who can reasonably say that the same principle will not also apply to other forms of unscriptural marriage that have been ignorantly entered into?
Not only does our kind Heavenly Father have a regard for the affections that bind man and wife, and in his wisdom and mercy permit them to live together under circumstances that he forbids marriage to take place, but we also see that he tenderly cares for their children, and does not want to have them turned out and disgraced as illegitimates even though, through ignorance, there was an unscriptural union of parents. The union exists and they having children, it cannot be wholly undone.
And would not the Lord have the same kind regard for innocent children of parents who have married a second living companion? As the laws of the land legalize such marriages and the Protestant pulpit has lifted the standard no higher, general ignorance has prevailed on this subject. Therefore many have married a second companion without scruple. Many were unfortunately wedded the first time through youthful ignorance, or persuasion, and were soon abandoned. The law claimed to have dissolved the bond, and they have lived long and happily with a second, and brought up children. Will God now require them in every case to part, and bring disgrace upon their children? No. The principle already seen relating to another form of unscriptural union we think must have some bearing on this case also. But of course we only give this as inference and not as positive teaching or legislation in the case.
Again we find mention made of such a thing as men having more than one living companion, and such are forbidden to be ordained as elders and deacons, 1 Tim. 3:2, 12. Titus 1:6. But it is no where said that all such should be utterly denied the fellowship of the church of God, unless they dissolve the last marriage.
We maintain, therefore, that the scriptures, to say the least, leave us without any good ground to condemn all thus living, as sinners and adulterers in the sight of God; especially if they show the fruits of the Spirit of God in their lives.
The circumstance under which men and women have become separated from a former companion, and taken another, vastly differ. One has been abandoned without cause, another has wickedly departed from a lawfully wedded wife or husband without excuse. One has married again through spite and base lust, and is condemned for the act in his own conscience. Another out of pure motives, and without the knowledge of any wrong attached to the act. Surely the just God will not place both these cases under the same sentence.
This marriage relation is a very sacred thing. And he who undertakes to dissolve the same, assumes a fearful responsibility. Hence it appears that God who knoweth all hearts has reserved to himself the right to command his children in this matter, in all doubtful cases. However, there are many separations and marriage to another which are so manifestly wicked that the sense of justice that God has given all men must condemn the same, and all can see that repentance must lead to a retraction of the unholy deeds. While upon the other hand men have become separated and married again under circumstances that holy justice would blush to disturb them.